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Team Members

The following information may or may not truly reflect the qualities of said players, viewer beware.....and don't take it personally, eh.  Games played in brackets are from end of last season, thanks to management for keeping the records going. Also, be sure to check out our past members .

Roger "XXXX tats you bastard" Blundell (95) - Editor of the site, so more intelligent than all the forward pack if their brains could be linked together, faster than a speeding bullet, defence of a tiger, all round good guy with looks to match, shit its good to be me (and a mauler of course)
Favourite meal: My Michelin star type homecooking of course, did I mention my chefing skills?
Favourite Song: Being the great songwriter I am,  Led Zep was given permission to perform Kashmir for me, good eh?
Favourite movie: And you thought  George Lucas created Starwars, not even man!!


Debbie "Taxiiii" Colquhoun (0) -The 2011 unanimous winner of  Team Manager, she'll be running a tight ship and  will keep us maulers honest.  Taxi, a certain 50th birthday image is etched on my mind...damn fine image (sorry Jamie, its all above board, mmmmm PVC)
Favourite meal: New York Pizza
Favourite Song: Theme from Taxi.
Favourite movie: Taxidriver.
Mark "Puss" Page (305)- Puss is a tiger off the side of the scrum, so beware the nickname.  Has untold experience, played over 300 games for the Maulers, and still looks young....that's because he was only  ten years old when he started playing for the team!!!   He took 2010 off to repair his shoulder damage from the Aspen trip, will see him this year back in the team fer sure!!  
Favourite meal: Fish and chips
Favourite Song: Year of the Cat - Al Stewart
Favourite movie: Catwoman



Steve "Cameltoe" Cammell (64) - One of the vertically challenged members of the Maulers, Cameltoe certainly travels at a faster rate than the ship of the desert, and doesn't have the angry man syndrome found in many of the shorter members of the human race.  He normally plays on the wing and has been known to provide some stern defence because the big fellas try to pick on him.
Favourite meal: Hummus and dates, mate
Favourite Song: Desert Song - My Chemical Romance
Favourite movie: Arabian Nights


Grant "Sumo" Castle (200) - The prop with the silly grin, Sumo always has something to smile about as he demolishes the opposition front row with his latest sneaky move.  A panelbeater by trade, has been known to knock a few opposition members into submission with his driving runs (maximum five metres, or he passes out).
Favourite meal: Anything, as long as there's lots of it
Favourite Song: Everybody was Kung Fu Fighting - Carl Douglas
Favourite movie: Karate Kid



Brett "Carbs" Carbines (106) - His defence may be as devastating as a round from his surname, but it's his "ball in hand" skills around the paddock that stands out, and those velcro hands....why pass when you can take a hit!!
Favourite meal: Marlin, oh and vietnamese
Favourite Song: We gotta get out of this place - The Animals
Favourite movie: Rambo



Dean "Lardro" Rehua (78) - Nickname probably has something to do with a gain in weight some seasons ago, but he has now bulked down into a mean,  lean,  don't hit me I can't fight(ing) machine.  His silky skills at fullback (and most other backline positions) will be needed if he can get his knees to co-operate, and if he doesn't keep dropping his motorbike!
Favourite meal: Food from my birthplace, Sri Lanka
Favourite Song: On the Road Again - Willie Nelson
Favourite movie: Motorcycle Diaries



Ben "Scud" Lee (8)- Running from the side of the scrum, like a scud missile his hits are devestating, knocking opposition off their feet with no respect for his own body.
Favourite meal: Halal lamb
Favourite Song: War - Edwin Starr
Favourite movie: Jarhead
Dean "Start me up" Jackson (40) - More like "don't start me up" or I'll  shock you with a tricky manouvre, so tricky that my teammates won't know what's happening let alone the opposition.  Plays in the backline closest to the halfback, but tries to stand so far back he may as well be the fullback.
Favourite meal: Lentil soup
Favourite Song: Don't Bring Me Down - ELO
Favourite movie: E.T.
Richard "Billy the Kid" Meehan (45) - One of the young guns playing out in the 2nd five/centres, defence like a brick wall and quick off the draw, don't go gunslinging with this dude. Took timeout in 2007 but is now back in the fold firing from the base of the scrum, but will no doubt spend some time in the backline somewhere.
Favourite meal: Lamb spit
Favourite Song: Billy Get Your Gun - Jon Bon Jovi
Favourite movie: Young Guns




Brendon "Shrek" Clarkson (76) - One of the BDL's of the team, has been known to pick daisies in the field and save snails from a stomping, but don't get this gentle giant riled up, as he'll rampage down the field like a bull in Pamplona.  Voted el Capataine in 2011
Favourite meal: Mushrooms
Favourite Song: Monster Mash - Bobby "Boris" Pickett
Favourite movie: Ratatoullie, I hate those Shrek movies



Brett "BJ" James (159) - Playing in the centres, the only blowjob you'll get from this man is the rush of air as he sidesteps you.  Of course, if you do decide to stand in his path, beware of the faceplant fend.
Favourite meal: Ice Cream
Favourite Song: Blowing in the Wind - Bob Dylan
Favourite movie: Soro's movie aint bad, but I like the better artistic values of  American Pie




Tony  "Yeah Mon" Andrews (53) - Tony may appear to be a relaxed and laid back loosie but place him on the green stage and watch him snaffle the ball like a jamaican finding a discarded  joint in a tinnie house and run like said jamaican when the gang finds out!!
Favourite meal: Chips and dip
Favourite Song: Get up, Stand up - Bob Marley
Favourite movie: Cheech and Chong in Up in Smoke



Paul "PC" Currin (93)- The choirboy of the team, that innocent smile he lays on the opposition from the centres is designed to lull them into a false sense of security, there is nothing "PC" about PC when he's lining you up for the tackle, hitting hard and high is his motto!!
Favourite meal: New world cuisine
Favourite Song: Young Ones - Cliff Richard
Favourite movie: Not the movie, but the great british TV show, The Young Ones



Tony "Tattoo" Fraser (140) - Well you can't keep a good bastard down, retired in 2007 after some damage done to his face during a game, unfortunately the doctors weren't able to improve on what was already there!  But they did repair his jaw, so the 2007 Massey Under 21's had to put up with his constant chatter as opposed to the refs in our grade. But its 2010, and sorry refs, he's baaaack!! Tattoo? - those are the marks he loved to leave on oppostion bodies....
Favourite meal: Black pudding
Favourite Song: Tattoo - The Who
                                    Favourite movie: I lust after Angelina Jolie, so anything she's in

Gary "Sooley" Soole (61) - You always need a mongrel in the forwards, and this is the biggest mongrel we've got.  Eye gouges, blindside king hits, goolie crushers, spitting, biting and hopolaties - everyone in the team has experienced it, now all we need is for him to trial it on the opposition!!
Favourite meal: Here puss puss puss...
Favourite Song: When my cousins play Dueling Banjos
Favourite movie: Deliverance
Stuart "Doh" Taylor (132) - Our head down arse up No.8, but there's one thing during a game that he really hates "Guys are always patting my bald head for luck, pinching my belly to hear my girlish laugh... please don't do it fellas".  You heard it here first guys !!
Favourite meal: Donuts, mmmmm....and hot dogs mmmm....oh and Burgers mmmm.....
Favourite Song: Do the Bartman - Bart Simpson
Favourite movie: The Simpsons , you know its a doc...docu uhmmm real life eh?



Matty "Mighty Roots" Oakes (249) - Another grandaddy of the team who plys his trade in the deepest darkest depths of the front row, with his intrinsic knowledge of the art and skullduggery of forward play (bet I lost a few forwards with that lot), the front row is well served.
Favourite meal: Baked Beans
Favourite Song: Ake Ake Kia Kaha E - 28th Maori Battalion
Favourite movie: Blazing Saddles


Stephen "Becks" Beck (150) - This is no typical lock,  the nickname may be a type of beer but this is a beer bottle that ain't empty from the neck up, nope he's highly intelligent, yet...he still likes placing his head between Sumo's and Matty's arse!!! Must be a masochist.
Favourite meal: Anything with chillies
Favourite Song: Blood Sugar Sex Magik - Red Hot Chilli Peppers
Favourite movie: Silence of the Lambs


Nigel "Showpony" Clemas (182) - Every team needs a showpony to aspire to, and here's one that's a bit broken, waiting for early retirement and is now the local kids hack, but hey mate, we still love ya moves out on the field.
Favourite meal: Carrots
Favourite Song: Wildfire - Mike Murphey
Favourite movie: Black Beauty



Peter "Baxta" Baker (122) - Have been told the reason for his nickname, but the brain was never engaged.  At least its better than the unofficial nickname that gets bandied about after he drops the ball, misses a tackle or tries his manager skills on the bad boys of the team.  One thing you can say is Baxta is a constant support to the team and that is all you require from a mauler.
Favourite meal: Chicken
Favourite Song: Words - The Bee Gees.
Favourite movie: Mr Beans Holiday.


Asema "Ace" Williams (104) - Biggles  on speed, Ace is our flying winger who effortlessly powers around the field like a rocket fuelled mack truck, that is why he doesn't know how to stop or turn, ah well you can't ask for everything...
Favourite meal: Cornbeef and Taro
Favourite Song: Fly like an Eagle - Steve Miller Band
Favourite movie: Those Magnificent Men in their Flying Machines
Rob "Spanky" Chisholm (13)- Was told how he got his nickname, but decided it was too boring, no, spanky rhymes with hanky panky, and thats what he gets up to in the hidden recesses of the ruck, then its up to the refs  to provide the spanky to him (before he gets home anyway)!!
Favourite meal: Baby food fed to me in my high chair
Favourite Song: Hanky Panky - Tommy James and the Shontells.
Favourite movie: Eyes Wide Shut.


Dean "Duck" Masters (93) - He paddles around the field at first five dictating play and letting loose with his trusty boot, but don't ask him to run, he can only waddle.
Favourite meal: Don't feed me my cousins, but give me puha any day.
Favourite Song: Rubber Ducky - Ernie 
Favourite movie: Sesame Street
Moses "Angelface" Uele (40) - The morals and decorum officer for the Maulers, sees the good side in the most evil members of the squad, but has his job cut out if he thinks he can turn us all into gods little helpers.  Beware, this man knows how to part the waters through the opposition ocean without raising a sweat.
Favourite meal: Hot cross buns
Favourite Song: Jesus loves the little children.
Favourite movie: The Ten Commandments.


Neil "Chopper" Felton 37) - Not quite as mad as the Mad Butcher, this butcher has the trademark ability to cut anything and anyone down to size with his terrifyingly hard and uncompromising tackles, so watch out for him in the centres.  Has now moved into the blindside position, and is as devestating as ever.
Favourite meal: Pork chops
Favourite Song: You took the words right out of my mouth - Meatloaf.
Favourite movie: Chopper (Reid) of course.



Jason "Tassie" Radonovich (50) - Tassie is a convict from the lucky country, although he tries to tell us he was born in Christchurch, which doesn't help his argument at all, because they are all one eyed convicts down there.  He enjoys all  the dark and dirty  vices  available to mankind, Moses has his job cut out with this guy, and so have the opposition!
Favourite meal: Apple pie
Favourite Song: The Prisoner - Iron Maiden.
Favourite movie: Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels.


Mike "Junior" Hynd (52) - Got dragged along a couple of seasons ago a complete virgin to rugby and forward play, has now had a taste of the  sensual delights of placing his head amongst the frontrow arses and is loving it.
Favourite meal: Easter Eggs
Favourite Song: Fat bottomed girls - Queen.
Favourite movie: The Flintstones.


Aaron "Anvil" Sandford (30) - They say an anvil is a basic tool. In the simplest terms it is a block with a hard surface on which another object is struck, said object is then deformed into a new, possibly bruised shape, and that about sums up Aaron when on a roving commission out in the wings, or anywhere else he pops up on the field
Favourite meal: Black Muriwai sand, always loved it since I was a kid
Favourite Song: The day that never comes - Metallica.
Favourite movie: Anvil, the story of anvil


Jamie "Hoon" Colquhoun (25) -Our blond adonis with the long, flowing golden locks running it up to the opposition...well that might be the youthful image in Jamies head, but we know him as the follically challenged, gammy legged, run it straight up the guts midfielder that all maulers like.
Favourite meal: Burger King
Favourite Song: Little Deuce Coupe - The Beach Boys.
Favourite movie: American Graffiti.


Brian "Chappy" Chapman (8) - Chappy is a front row props wet dream when lifting in the lineout, skinny as a rake, tall and light, got the angry ginga syndrome so will fight at the top of the lift for the pill.....only problem is, he's shortsighted and damn near blind so can't catch for shit , you can't win them all, eh Chappy!!
Favourite meal: Scraps...I like scraps!
Favourite Song: If you don't know me by now - Simply Red
Favourite movie: Movies, can't sit that long, happy slapping on utube is the way to go though...



Wayne "Mac" MacDonald (14) -Big Mac trundles round the field on his stout scottish stumps squashing the opposition, his big red nose smelling out the fear while swilling his single malt whiskey and shaking his sporran.  
Favourite meal: Big Macs with super sized everything
Favourite Song: Scotland the Brave
Favourite movie: Super Size Me, I was a star!



Peter "Naunau" Nau (134) - Every team needs a man who is the epitome of sophistication, and our aftermatch red wine drinking, sweet cologne smelling Samoan assasin fits the bill superbly.  Naunau raises the front row intelligence quotient above bloody thick to "just about  able to string a sentence together"  only problem is it takes at least five reds before we can understand Naunau!!
Favourite meal: Merlot followed by Shiraz and a smidgen of Cab Sav
Favourite Song: Red red wine - UB40
Favourite movie: Sideways


Greg "Moose" Melvin (14) - In season, his roar can be heard for miles around, as he tries to corral the opposition and his fellow players around him to form the magical rugby scrum, then he lets loose with a bloody great wet fart  destroying everyone within smelling distance, good one Moose.
Favourite meal: Grass, moss and lichen, as long as its green and I can fart good
Favourite Song: The Moose song, they love me in Canada
Favourite movie: Deerhunter, bloody vermin!!


Greg "Slippers" Sneddon (19) - Sounds like a nice comfortable grandaddy shoe, but Slippers lurks out in midfield and the name describes a player that is as slippery as an eel, or is it because he slips a few tackles, you be the judge!
Favourite meal: Whitebait fritters
Favourite Song: Slippery when wet - The Commodores
Favourite movie: Finding Nemo




Neil Allan (2)

Craig Buckwell (2)

David Clarkson (9)

Eddy Cooney (9)

Tony Davies (6)

Peter Hiko (74)

Jeremy Jacobs (31)

Domique Janssen (11)

Murphy Maiava (7)

Peter Skoludek (1)

Peauope Suli (8)

Thayne Tarawa (15)

Jason Tawhai (52)

Paul Treneary (2)

Darren "Buzzard "Turnwald (6)

Sam Valings (21)